"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that
it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and
limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is
there, as well as how much space.”
“Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others.”
― Chögyam Trungpa
I even let slip in some settings that I've directly experienced the Presence of God! This, of course, can get me in trouble -- even (or maybe especially) in some of the Buddhist circles I travel in.
Over the years I've learned to be a a bit more discrete about yakking about these experiences, though.
I try not to mention these moments of Being There -- or, more correctly, just Being -- where it is likely to lead to an embarrassed silence, furtive glances toward the nearest exit -- or, possibly, somebody dialing 911! And, although I say that lightly, in all seriousness this has been an unfortunate reality for some folks in a society that doesn't understand such things. I was usually able to travel under the radar. I was lucky. Even when I was homeless on the streets, I was able to stay out of jail or the psych ward.
Looking back, I guess I've always been a bit touched.
Then, like many of the folks who came of age in the cultural revolution of the 60's and 70's, those childhood perceptions were reinforced again and again -- with and without the assistance of various ingested substances. It was just like Jesus, Buddha -- and the Beatles -- proclaimed. All we need is Love. That was the bottom line of the Real Deal.
Yet, in the day to day reality of my life, I discovered that actually being a loving person wasn't all that easy. Blinded by the subconscious patterns of a deeply wounded ego, immersed in the energies of a patently neurotic society, I continued to roller-coaster through relationships and jobs. I made a lot of mistakes. Much of the time I could be a real jerk, failing miserably to help others, or even free myself from suffering.