I can relate, of course. My zafu had gathered dust for months at a time over the past four decades as I bumbled and staggered ahead through my life. Yet, inexorably-- and ultimately inexplicably--I found myself again drawn to Sit Still on a regular basis, again and again. I haven't missed more than a handful of days in the past few years. It can be the most interesting and wonderful, or the most confusing and disturbing, part of my day! At this point, it seems that the Practice is doing me as much as I'm doing it.
One of the notions that propelled me to start MMM a year and a half ago was that I could help create a setting that would support others in the development of Practice. For the most part I think that what has emerged does that to some extent. Yet, it is clear that what one of my favorite MMM regulars characterized as "The Dilemma of Discipline" last week, is a fundamental challenge along the path of Practice for us all.
She and I just sort of bounced off of each other that day, getting hung up on debating external structures during the recent period of transition, rather than focusing on the central nature of commitment in the development of the Practice. More than anything, it seems to me that commitment really is the Heart of the Matter.
As we did back in June, it might be time for the Circle to again look at the essential question: "Why Bother?"--and compare notes on what we've found challenging and what we've found helpful in cultivating our practices.