|Emmett Kelly 1898 - 1979|
"Mindfulness and Meditation allow us to open our hearts, relax our bodies, and clear our minds enough to experience the vast, mysterious, sacred reality of life directly. With Practice we come to know for ourselves that eternity is available in each moment.
Saturday, October 29, 2022
Saturday, October 22, 2022
mean that the capacity to love and accept
is not there; love is always with you.”
Once you hitch your wagon to Practice and roll out, you are going to get the lessons along the way that are needed to take you deeper --whether you like it or not!
More than once here in this blog, I've spent time presenting the notion that simply "cutting loose of the story line," is an immediate fix to disturbing emotions. I've found that when I have the presence of mind to expand the sphere of my attention from the realm of discursive thought to include what is going on in my breath, body, and heart, sometimes hell dissolves and heaven is revealed in the blink of an eye. (See Your Courtesy Wake Up Call: Once Upon a Time...)
The operative word here is -- sometimes.
As the years roll by and the Practice deepens, I have experienced such an instantaneous transformation quite often. Yet, it seems a bit of Karmic Comeuppance was necessary. A few weeks ago, I found myself swirled up in an angry outburst for the first time in a couple of years. It's certainly been enough to remind me that it can take a lot of work and a whole lot longer than a "blink of an eye" to learn something from a situation -- and regain a sense of wonder about it all.
Then and Now
As a child and a young man I had what folks might call an extremely bad temper. Having grown up in the midst of a lot of anger and physical violence, I would react to things in my world with bursts of violent emotions -- and even violent behavior. Throughout childhood, I could fly into a rage and smash things and strike out with the worst of them. My kid brother and I fought like cats and dogs. Our last furniture breaking brawl took place when I was in college.
It would take years to quell those patterns.
Perhaps, the deepest gratitude that I have to the Practice is that I am no longer likely to get extremely angry. Annoyance and irritation usually is about as bad as it gets. I'm grateful that it usually doesn't spill out of my mouth. Even then, there is usually an immediate recognition, and I'm able to come into the moment with a deeper sense of openness and relaxation.
Yet, life being life, usually doesn't mean never. A few weeks ago, I dove into a deep pool of anger for the first time in quite awhile. I was angry. Really angry. I could feel it in the muscles of my jaw, in my torso over the course of a minute or so. Then, as I launched an explosive "F*# @ Y#@! You're driving me crazy!!!' the look on my beloved Migdalia's face was enough to wake me up. I knew that she wasn't "driving me crazy." I was. My own deep conditioning had spun me out. I had gotten deeply attached to my own point of view. It was time to pause, withdraw, and re-calibrate. (Thankfully, Migdalia helped that process by refusing to engage in even my toned-down defense of my self-centered position. It wasn't just my own effort that helped save the day.)