mean that the capacity to love and accept
is not there; love is always with you.”
Once you hitch your wagon to Practice and roll out, you are going to get the lessons along the way that are needed to take you deeper --whether you like it or not! This might be especially true if you have the unbridled chutzpah to publicly ramble on about your experiences.
More than once, I've spent time here presenting the notion that simply "cutting loose of the storyline," choosing to refocus our attention from discursive thought to other aspects of our experience (preferably what we are feeling in our bodies and heart), can sometimes take us from hell to heaven in the blink of an eye. (See Your Courtesy Wake Up Call: Once Upon a Time...)
Although I certainly have experienced this quite often, perhaps a bit of Karmic Comeuppance was necessary to burn my tail -- and, hopefully, burnish my humility and compassion a bit. During the last past week, Life interjected a pretty dramatic bout of upset apple carts and broohahas into the Grand Mix. It's been enough to remind me that it certainly can take a bit longer than a "blink of an eye" to regain a sense of wonder about it all.
It may even take what may seem like a hell of a long time.
The lesson? Being a calm and kind, clear and compassionate, human being is NOT that easy. It is a daunting discipline. It takes commitment, courage, patience, skill, time and effort. It takes Practice.
Then and Now
As a child and a young man I had what folks might call an extremely bad temper. Having grown up in the midst of a lot of anger, I would react to things in my world with bursts of violent emotions -- and even physical violence. My kid brother and I fought like the proverbial cats and dogs.
Even into young adulthood, I could fly into a rage and smash things and strike out with the worst of them. Hanging out with my college jock peers didn't help matters. Luckily, a lightweight at only 5'2", throwing my weight around wasn't all that successful. It was usually a kamikazi mission, so I learned a little to cool it a bit. Suppression, however, didn't really work. I still could get really angry all too easily.
Perhaps, the deepest gratitude that I have to the Practice is that I no longer am likely to get all that angry, no longer prone to lash out verbally or physically. Annoyance and mild irritation usually is about as bad as it gets these days. I'm grateful that it usually doesn't spill out of my mouth without immediate recognition.
Yet, life being life, usually doesn't mean never. Recently, I hit a deep pool of anger for the first time in quite awhile.