The heat apparently didn't come on last night, leaving the room frigid, with a stiff northwest wind rattling the window alongside my bed as I came awake. I got up, and as is the ritual, went to the bathroom.
Then, I strode back across the cold floor and immediately grabbed the heating pad and an extra blanket -- and crawled back into bed. I didn't plan on falling back to sleep.
When I let those thoughts go and turned my attention to the underlying feelings, I noticed a tightness in my chest and belly.
Then and Now
As I lay there this morning it was different. Within a moment or two, no longer attaching a lot of attention to the thoughts, I was breathing the underlying feelings deeply into my heart with the wish that I could feel those feelings for all of us, and that we all would be free from such suffering and the roots of such suffering. My heartfelt aspiration that all of us be at peace rode the long, slow release of the out breath. I didn't have to choose to Practice at that moment. After about a decade of working with Tonglen, more and more it has become a habitual response.
Then, there was just breath and body, the wind howling outside the window.
Then a few dream bubbles danced into my awareness -- and burst.
A Devoted Fan of Life and Practice