"Mindfulness Practice isn't just about escaping to some magical inner realm devoid of life's challenges. The Practice is about progressively opening your heart and calming your mind enough to engage Life directly, to be more fully Present in a kind, clear, and helpful way."

Your MMM Courtesy Wake Up Call! Musings on Life and Practice by a Long-time Student of Meditation.

Friday, July 28, 2017

ARGH!!!

We can suppress anger and aggression or act it out,
either way making things worse for ourselves and others.
Or we can practice patience: wait,
experience the anger and investigate its nature.
---Pema Chodron


“Just because anger or hate is present does not
mean that the capacity to love and accept
is not there; love is always with you.”
---Thich Nhat Hanh


The Universe is exquisite.  Once you hitch your wagon to Practice and roll out, you are going to get the lessons along the way that are needed to take you deeper --whether you like it or not!  (That might be especially true if you have the unbridled chutzpah to publicly ramble on about your experiences. )

More than once, I've spent time here presenting the notion that simply "cutting loose of the storyline", the process of refocusing our awareness from discursive thought to other aspects of our experience (preferably what we are feeling in our heart), can sometimes take us from hell to heaven in the blink of an eye.  (See Your Courtesy Wake Up Call: Once Upon a Time...)  

Although I certainly have experienced something approximating that quite often, perhaps a bit of Karmic Comeuppance was necessary to burn my tail -- and burnish my humility and compassion a bit.   During the last past week, Life interjected a pretty dramatic bout of upset apple carts and broohahas into the Grand Mix.  It's been enough to remind me that it certainly can take a bit longer than a "blink of an eye" to regain a sense of wonder about it all.  

It may even take what may seem like a hell of a long time.   

The lesson?  Being a calm and kind and clear and compassionate human being is NOT that easy.  It is a daunting discipline that takes courage, patience, skill, time and effort.  It takes Practice.

Then and Now

As a child and a young man I had what folks might call an extremely bad temper.  Having grown up in the midst of a lot of anger, I would react to things in my world with bursts of violent emotions -- and even physical violence.  I could fly into a rage and smash things and strike out with the worst of them.  Perhaps, the deepest gratitude that I have to the Practice is that I no longer am as likely to inflict harm on others due to angry outbursts.  (Although, admittedly,  I can still be pretty clumsy and stupid at times.  Sigh.)

Recently, I hit a deep pool of anger for the first time in quite awhile.  
(READ MORE)
There was no amount of cutting loose of the story lines was about to rapidly dispel this cauldron of emotional energy.  Although it certainly helped to repeatedly allow the story lines to go their merry way without attaching much attention to them, what was called for was some patience, the willingness and ability to make some time and space to allow the anger to run its course embraced by as much mindfulness and heart as I could manage.  As it was,  it took me a couple of hours in the evening, then a couple more in the early morning to bring myself to the point where I felt safe to re-engage with my life in a clearer and kinder way. 

During that time, both Shamatha/Vipashyana and Tonglen practice helped.  I was able to feel and examine the nature of the patterns involved in that anger, to feel it in my body, to stay with it rather than withdraw.  It wasn't a "quick fix", though.  Yet, over time, in the clear, kind eyes of Mindfulness, the anger began to morph into bursts of fear, pain, and sadness.  Then, at a certain point, the tears emerged.  

I felt my heart open again.  

In those moments, grief and gratitude were indistinguishable.  The incredible beauty of our fragile majesty as interconnected human beings immersed in this boundless and mysterious Universe was, once again, self-evident. Whether you apprehend this Boundless Presence as God or Shunyata or Allah or Tao (or, as I do these days, One Love), IMHO, it's the Real Deal.  

Working with Anger: Two Good Articles



The Lion's Roar (formerly Shambala Sun), a magazine which offers a "Buddhist view for people of all spiritual traditions who are open, inquisitive, passionate and committed" has two articles available on-line that offer ways to look at and work with anger (and the whole continuum of aversion). "The Answer to Anger and Aggression is Patience" by Pema Chodron and "Loosening the Knots of Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh.  Even if anger "isn't your thing", you may find them helpful in exploring other powerful energies.

I am so grateful to the Teachers and the Teachings that have given me at least a clue about how to work with all this. I'm grateful that Life itself provides the ongoing possibility of Opening our Hearts and Minds, for the Love, Forgiveness, and Good Will that resides in our True Nature.  

Sitting here at age 71, having been fortunate enough to stumble across these Teachings decades ago, I can say from my own experience. We can move beyond our conditioned patterns.  We are the people we are waiting for.  Our True Nature is Love. 

It just takes Practice.

Originally published, July 2013.

2 comments:

Don Karp said...

Hey, what a deal--to deal with all that anger just before your "vacation."

I've not yet read the articles you offered, but remember going through my own dealings with anger with the help of my local New Warriors men's group: "Special Boys."

I had many jobs at small companies, and would often have shouting matches with bosses and supervisors. Feeling this was counterproductive, I took my pain into the group.

They suggested that first I needed to know, from a deep place, that I was ok--a good person. I did a lot of affirmations.
Then I could approach the anger knowing that it was a projection. It was not really about me or who I am.
I would meet the expressions of anger with a very cool and logical reply: " I hear you are angry. Could we talk about it?"

This worked fine, the trick being to catch what was happening before getting mired in the other's feelings and expression.

Now, retired from those jobs, and as a neophyte meditator, I've not encountered that many situations to "practice," and am ready but not really looking forward to them.

Thanks, Lefty! Have a great vacation!

ps. perhaps a name change of your blog so it can be published an announced on other days than, "Monday . . ."
pps. have you seen my new blog series: donkarp.com/letters?

Lance Smith said...

Hey Brother Don,
Actually, I'm pretty grateful to have uncovered some deeper "primal" levels of that energy at this stage of the journey. Having the "means" to allow it to experience it without acting out on it or fleeing from it, I feel there has been a type of release and healing that has emerged. We'll see.

As far as the blog: I first put the site up when I began offering Monday Morning Mindfulness at Community Yoga and Wellness Center in May of 2012, a couple of years before I was asked to offer a meditation class/support group by the Recovery Learning Community. I began it just to "promo the class", then it emerged as a reflection about the MMM sessions and "musings" about Life and Practice. It's never been published on Monday's.

The name of the blog itself then became "Your MMM Courtesy Wake Up Call: Musings on Life and Practice", but I never made time to change the header as the writings took on a life of their own. (actually I'd have to create a new header graphic banner independently because the "title" is hard-wired into it due to the Blogger platform. LOL)

For about four years the writing itself became a weekly practice, usually emerging on Thursdays over the course of a few hours after my regular morning meditation. Sometimes I'd get an idea during the week or come across a quote, and go with it. More often, I'd sit in front the screen engage in some conscious breathing and see what danced across the screen.

Nowadays, most of the pieces are rewrites and revisions of those couple of hundred pieces I'd written. Perhaps, as I take a step back from my other regular commitments for the month of August something else will emerge.

Stay tuned.
One Love,
Lance