“Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows
crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart,
nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the
principles of Yoga.”
“In the Lakota/Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered
most wakan, most holy."
Emmet Kelly 1898-1979 |
Some time ago, I came across the above quote by Swami Kripalvanandji while
preparing for a yoga class that I was going to teach later that day. I immediately emailed it to a dear friend who was having
a rough time.
She
replied that it helped -- a lot. After reading it, she had headed out
to her garden to have a good cry. It was exactly what she needed.
Growing
up in today's society, most of us have learned to avoid crying like the
plague. Widely characterized as a sign of unacceptable weakness and
frailty, we are conditioned to keep a stiff upper lip, to steel
ourselves against this natural expression of heartfelt feeling.
Although this pattern is pervasively seen as a "male" characteristic, in
my experience, many of the women I know are also conditioned to avoid crying. As a
result, our patterns of resistance to crying are pretty pervasive.
That
being said, I actually hesitated for a moment to plunge ahead here.
After all, you don't see too many glitzy promotional materials on
Mindfulness Practice promising to bring you to tears. Maybe I'd better "lighten up" a bit? After all, isn't Buddha's Third Noble Truth the freakin' Cessation of Suffering?
Yet, what has become clear to me, and to many others*, is that there is a profound difference between pain and suffering.
The natural experience and expression of emotional pain, like the natural experience and expression of joy, emerges from our True Nature. Each can bring us to tears as hearts and minds are touched deeply by Reality of Life as it is.
Emotional pain doesn't cause suffering. It is our conditioned resistance to the pain that causes suffering. Adrift in the pervasive conditioning of today's society, our hearts become closed, armored by layers of fear and unexpressed grief. With Practice, this changes. With Practice, we can open to the healing energy of the One Love that exists within and beyond our Heart of Hearts.
A Good Cry
There
is such a thing as a Good Cry. I think that is what Yogi Jesus was teaching when he
proclaimed "Blessed be those who mourn, for they will be comforted." The release offered through our tears is a natural
healing process.
Pain,
sorrow, and grief will naturally emerge as we open to the infinite
permutations of Life and Death that are inherent in the human
condition. Over the years I've seen clearly that the emotions of fear
and
anger become conditioned shields against those deeper feelings. Our
hearts become armored, and these calcified emotions tend to generate
story lines full of blame and judgment. These patterns serve to keep us in
our heads and out of our hearts. Letting go of those thoughts and
opening to the array of feelings that then emerge, a skill developed
with
Practice, the process deepens.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu at Truth and Reconciliation Hearing 1996 |
Opening to the tears, accepting and embracing Life As It Is, we access the infinite pool of open, clear, peaceful Awareness that permeates all possible universes.
In opening to the Darkness, we open to the Light! How cool is that? It just takes Practice.
For crying out loud!
* The tears I shed during the course of a five day retreat led by the late Stephen Levine and his wife Ondrea were among the most healing moments of my life. Levine's talent at crafting guided meditations capable of "opening the heart" was unparalleled. With Levine's passing, the world lost a Master of Manifesting"A Good Cry". Your MMM Courtesy Wake Up Call: Good Grief.
Originally Posted, May 15, 2015. Revised.
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