“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
― J. Krishnamurti
― J. Krishnamurti
“We sow the seeds of our future hells or happiness by the way
we open or close our minds right now.”
we open or close our minds right now.”
― Pema Chodron
I
don't think there is any greater freedom than being Present -- engaging life as it is -- without the distortion caused by Judgment Mind.
Growing up immersed in a society that is highly judgmental, most of us have been deeply conditioned to experience our lives in terms of good/bad, right/wrong, should be/shouldn't be.
Growing up immersed in a society that is highly judgmental, most of us have been deeply conditioned to experience our lives in terms of good/bad, right/wrong, should be/shouldn't be.
In fact, our ego sense, with its
perceived separation and isolation from "the other" is maintained by emotion laden thoughts, opinions, and various mind states that
emerge from this
conditioning. Even in its mild form of liking/disliking,
Judgment Mind can generate thoughts and feelings that serve to separate us
from the peaceful, calm, and caring Presence we have access to in every moment.
If
we are overly self-absorbed, distracted, stressed, moving too
fast, it's easy to get lost in our conditioned reactions to the events in our lives. Adrift in Judgment Mind, we loose Presence. We get lost in the alternative reality we have created -- and forget that the world is really not as it appears to us at that moment. The
deeply ingrained process of evaluating what we experience as
bad, wrong, condemnable is a strong and on-going element of our society's collective unconscious, and has had a deep and ongoing effect on most of us. It appears
as discontent, diatribe, enmity, blame, and self-blame. If we
aren't paying attention, it can and will dominate our lives, moment to
moment.
Seeing For Yourself
One
of the fruits of meditation is that we can see how that
process works directly. We can see for ourselves that Judgment Mind
isn't only the thoughts going through our heads at the moment. It's
deeper than that. It is embedded in the emotions we are experiencing.
It's embodied in the tightnesses and discomforts of our body. It
directly effects
the quality of our consciousness, our state of mind.
It is actually quite amazing to see for yourself how that plays out on the meditation cushion.
If
you're paying attention, the emergence of Judgment Mind is obvious.
You'll
know that you've have lost touch with the relaxed, warm, bright, open,
spaciousness of a open heart and clear mind. Instead of a profound
sense of Connection, you'll collapse into the ego's self-protective
reaction patterns. The
emotional energies of those patterns can be fiery hot or icy cold, yet
there is a tightening, discontent, and a sense of disconnection.
This
contraction can happen in a heartbeat. In one moment, we can be
Present, aware of the sacred miracle emerging. Then, Zap! The
gracious spaciousness of an open heart and mind collapses. Our
attention is consumed by the ranting and
raving and blaming of judgmental thoughts as they cascade across the
surface of
discordant feelings.
As
Practice develops, we get more adept at noticing exactly when the shift
occurs. Then, sometimes, we can dispel Judgment Mind readily. Taking
a breath, bringing kindness and openness to our hearts and minds brings
us into the moment more fully -- and Judgment Mind dissipates.
In any one moment, this can literally be the difference between heaven
and hell.
To Hell and Back
It
seems to me that the most debilitating form of Judgement Mind occurs
when we turn its focus on ourselves. In our childhood, many of us internalize the harsh criticism and condemnation
we've received. This often results in a deep distrust of ourselves, a
lack of confidence and ease, and what has been labeled an "inferiority
complex." This seems to be endemic in our society, part of
our shared cultural subconscious. Yet, it is not necessarily universal
to the human condition. Evidently this widespread pattern is so
foreign to Tibetan culture, that the Dalai Lama had a hard time
understanding a question about it posed by a prominent American Buddhist
Teacher.
Many of us Americans could have answered the question in a heartbeat. Patterns of harsh
self-judgment are pretty familiar terrain. I'm grateful that the
Practice has provided me with a way to navigate those patterns with
more compassion and skill.
During one morning's meditation awhile ago, I watched Judgement Mind rear it's ugly head as the thoughts
"#@!#& me! I'm a #@!#&-- up"
erupted into my consciousness. I had been through a pretty challenging
confrontation the day before, and as sometimes happens, the episode had
been re-incarnated in my thoughts a number of times over the ensuing 24
hours. Now in the silence and stillness of the Practice, it reared its
head and bit me in the tail.
Luckily
that tail was firmly placed on my meditation cushion. With a daily
meditation practice in place, it has become easier and easier to navigate through mind states that used to spin me out for days at a time. Or months. Or
years.
As I Sat there, it was relatively easy to let go of the "story
line,"the habitual narratives running through my mind. I've learned not
to believe everything I think, to see thoughts as merely thoughts. When mindful of thoughts as thoughts, a shift occurs. No longer lost in thought, awareness opens into more deeply into the magic of the present moment. (The noting practice "thinking, thinking," has helped -- a
lot.)
I took a few, slow, deep conscious breaths, relaxed my shoulders and
belly, opened my heart -- and let the thoughts just be thoughts. Rather than dominate my attention, they just became a voice in the choir of mindful awareness. The
experience then became a
kaleidoscope of sensations, feelings, and energies. Moments
of anger, fear, confusion, humiliation and pain emerged.
Yet, within
the space of several more breaths, the emotional energies of each had dissipated. Without the
support of the same old narratives, these energies had nothing to cling to.
Instead, what emerged was a relaxed, open, clear, warm, expansive quality of consciousness, -- and a sense of wonder. A boundless sense of peace and warm-hearted appreciation permeated my breath and body.
Instead, what emerged was a relaxed, open, clear, warm, expansive quality of consciousness, -- and a sense of wonder. A boundless sense of peace and warm-hearted appreciation permeated my breath and body.
I can live with that. Hopefully, I can die with that as well.
It just takes Practice.
3 comments:
Very insightful....so much truth.
Thank you for this, Lance! Lots of resonance here as I adjust to a new job, new schedule, and all the sudden I feel like I’m “bad” at meditating. Thank you for the clarity 🙏
Judgement mind is more prevalent in some. The toughest one is the self judgement piece. If it’s beneficial to recognize something about myself that needs attention, great. But if it’s self denigrating, it’s just as bad, if not worse than judging others. Of course, it’s natural for the untrained, unpracticed mind to jump into judgment. Practice makes everything better, doesn’t it? As always, ya got me thinking.
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