"Mindfulness Practice isn't just about escaping to some magical inner realm devoid of life's challenges. The Practice is about calming your mind and opening your heart enough to engage Life directly, to be more fully Present in a kind, clear, and helpful way."

Your MMM Courtesy Wake Up Call! The Musings of a Long-time Student of Meditation

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Kicking the Habit

"Compassion and resilience are not, as we might imagine, rarefied human qualities available only to the saintly.  Nor are they adventitious experiences that arise in us only in extraordinary circumstances.   In fact these essential and universally prized human qualities can be solidly cultivated by anyone willing to take the time to do it."
― Norman Fischer, 
Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
― Pema Chödrön,  
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

I think one of the most exciting discoveries to emerge from medical science is neuroplasticity.  

Even in cases where there has been fairly severe physical damage to the brain, research now indicates that new neural pathways can be created. It appears that with proper stimulation, undamaged neurons actually sprout new nerve endings.  Certain functions can even be transferred from a severely damaged hemisphere of the brain to the other!

How cool is that!?

Although most schools of psychology agree that our basic personality is formed very early in our lives through the interplay of genetics and conditioning,  neuroplasticity now indicates that we can alter the elements of that personality in fundamental ways -- at a cellular level.  Recent research confirms that there are positive organic changes to the brain produced by meditation.

What this means is that contrary to the old adage, you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Most of us don't think that the way we view and react to our world as a conditioned sequence of synapses firing. (In layman's terms: a habit)  Yet, it certainly seems to explain the way many of us seem to go stumbling along entertaining deep yearnings to be a certain type of person -- and failing to meet our own standards again and again.  We want to be kind, caring, compassionate, constructive and productive people.   And we end up -- all too often -- being jerks!

Now western science affirm what the sages, seers, and saints having been saying all along: We can get it together.  With Practice, we can kick the habit of being who we have been in deep and fundamental ways. 

In my experience, Mindfulness Practice has been a means to kick start, and maintain, some dramatic changes in the way I am in the world.  With Practice I have brought an awareness to what had previously operated subconsciously, and, by doing so, I've been able to "rewire" my responses to conform more closely to my aspirations to be kind and compassionate.

To wit: I had a violent temper.  Raised in a family where this type of behavior was the norm, I could readily fly into a rage and lash out verbally-- or even physically.
Over the years, with serious and persistent effort, the Practice has enabled me to be aware of that pattern of reaction at subtler and subtler levels -- before the adrenalin starts to flow.  Usually, I can let go of the narratives that emerge rather quickly and focus on the underlying feelings.  There, as I open to the kaleidoscopic array of emotional energies (such as fear, frustration, pain, humiliation, shame, etc.) it has gotten easier to accept and relax with those feelings.  I can then get in touch with my breath and my heart's aspirations, and find the reset button.

I can still be a jerk at times, of course, but it generally doesn't get any worse than mild irritation and annoyance, perhaps delivering a sarcastic or unkind remark before I catch myself.  If I can't then immediately apologize and let it go, I may have to withdraw to get it together for awhile.  Yet, more and more, a deep compassion for myself and the other person emerges fairly quickly.  I usually remember that I and the other person are lovable jerks, after all-- and I'm ready to do what needs to be done.

How does Sitting Still regularly help with all this?

It's all about cultivating a quality of consciousness that is open and caring.  It begins with learning to place our attention where we choose, then developing the habit of sustaining that attention, then expanding the range of that attention to include an awareness of a lot of stuff that usually operates subconsciously: sensations, feelings, emotions, even subtle thought systems and beliefs.  With Practice, you can actually see how it all operates.  This is where real change is possible.


Of course, since most of us are unfamiliar with this terrain, it is quite useful to seek the assistance of guides who've had some experience with this journey into the unknown.  There are lots of teachers, therapists and groups around these days who can assist -- either in person (ideally) or through books, CD's, DVD's, the Internet, etc.  We live in an amazing era, rife with the potential to access the Teachings.

So, if you're reading this and haven't begun to develop your own regular Practice, the ball is in your court.  Why not let go off the habit of mucking ahead as you always have and start a new habit?

If you really do want to be a kinder, calmer, clearer and more compassionate human being, you could start with the next breath and a decision to make the time to meditate regularly.  You can even start with a few minutes a day.  Your experience of Life can and will change. 

It's a kick!

3 comments:

Carol said...

To talk about, refer to, the past is 'talking to or waking the dead' you have no past. your story line is not who you are, which you keep playing out again and again. You only have this present moment. Start there!

Monday Morning MIndfulness said...

Well, Carol, if we want to be precise, your message is talking about the past, no? You are responding to what was written in the past. You also are playing out a discussion/debate you and I have had for about seven years, no? LOL

I agree with you that the present moment is all that there is. Yet, my old friend, the present moment is much more mysterious than meets the eye. It contains all that has ever been and all that could possibly be.

One purpose of meditation is to make the subconscious conscious. If we are unaware of how past conditioning operates to distort our perceptions of the present moment, we have little freedom to actually experience the present moment fully. Experienced fully, there is no separation between past, present and future.

At least that is the way it appears to me -- as best I can express it in language (which, of course, I learned in the past and has been evolving for eons.)
One Love,
Lance
PS Hope you are well.

Carol said...

Hey You!
My comment was more directed at how you compare your past to how well you are doing now, for the most part. However, by waking the dead, you keep giving your past 'conscious' energy, unconsciously. Why I say you have no past, or to let it go. The universe doesn't know the difference, the energy is still there, bad or good if you keep feeding it with thought. That is my understanding of how karma, or power of attraction, or negatively charging your own chakras, is being affected by thought, which is the mind telling you who or what you are. No? Seems like a self destructive path to look back, only to miss the present while thoughts are in the past. meditation is one moment after another in the present moment, not in the past. No?
You seem to 'think' or have 'thought' about some debate, but truly it's more about asking to be open to seeing or hearing from an assortment of other perspectives, not a debate. Not for me anyway. Kindred, soul family members, guides and angels, are some you can look toward, having no need to be waking the dead to keep you charging in Divine light. Laughing Buddha seems to enjoy the balance of here and now knowing there is no past and no future and totally ok with letting the illusion of this life,flow.