Love. Love. Love

"The moment we give rise to the desire for all beings to be happy and at peace, the energy of love arises in our minds, and all our feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness is permeated by love: in fact, they become love."

-- Thich Nhat Hanh, Teachings on Love

"All you need is love."

-- The Beatles

We have it on good authority. 

Buddha and Jesus, as well as many other sages and saints throughout the ages, seem to agree with the Hippies -- and the Beatles.  In the final analysis: All you need is Love.  

That seems simple enough.

So, what's the problem? Why are so many folks suffering?  Why does the world appear to be going to hell in the proverbial hand basket? 

First of all, what many folks have learned to believe is love, the terrain of much music and Hollywood Movies -- isn't necessarily the love that the wisdom teachings cherish.  What is presented as "love" is usually a very human blend of desire, biological attraction, suffering, and rigid attachment.  It's pretty clear that "I love you so much that I'll kill anyone who looks at you, then you, then myself!" is not exactly what JC, Buddha, and the others had in mind, right?

It seems to me that the form of "love"that our culture promotes has a lot more to do with fulfilling one's own individual ego needs for sex, security, status, and self-esteem than the quality of consciousness that the mystics of the world's wisdom traditions proclaimed.  True Love (the term used by Thich Nhat Hanh in book by that title.) is not the profound passionate grasping of deep attachment. It is much grander than that.   It is a deep Connection to all that is.

 
True Love emerges from what I've learned to call the Awakened Heart. (A grateful bow to Thich Nhat Hanh, and Pema Chodron for that.)  It is our human connection to the One Love that exists beyond the illusion of disconnection that characterizes the realm of relative reality.  Flowing from and returning to our Interconnection and our Oneness, True Love then can emerge in our relationships with others as the essential kindness, compassion, clarity and joy that glow in our heart of hearts. 

Unlike the common contemporary understanding that views love as something we just fall into and-- all too often -- out of, in the Buddhist tradition, love is seen as an inherent quality of human consciousness.  In fact, in the Mahayana Buddhist tradition, it is who we are at the deepest level. As such, True Love can be intentionally cultivated.  In our relationships, we may stumble into glimpses of Sacred Oneness through an intimate connection to "the other" in a romantic relationship -- especially in its initial honeymoon phase.  Yet, ultimately, True Love emerges from a fundamental choice to embrace Life itself in a different way. 

 

This is no mean feat. 

Although this realization can happen with the very next breath, the process of actually becoming a loving person generally doesn't just happen.  It is a Practice.  Erich Fromm characterized it as an art in his classic work, The Art of Loving.  Like any discipline, True Love takes commitment, a set of skills, effort, persistence -- and patience. 
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Being Real

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space.  He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
-- Albert Einstein

 
"Compassion and resilience are not, as we might imagine, rarefied human qualities available only to the saintly... In fact, these essential and universally prized human qualities can be solidly cultivated by anyone taking the time to do it." 

-- Norman Zoketzu Fischer,

Trainings in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong

Really, Dude?
 

"Yikes.  I did it again," I thought.  

Moments before, I had proclaimed with utter certainty that MY take on what was going on, was absolutely the truth of the matter.  I was even quite uppity about it.  

Then, quite quickly, Reality asserted itself.  

My certitude that my friend was "wrong," and that I was "right," disintegrated in the clear light of a sunny day.  

Duh.

Thankfully, my friend was gracious.  She didn't skewer me for my not immediately noticing the tightness in my chest -- and shutting the fuck up.  

Once again, I had missed the opportunity to pay better attention to the emergence of ego's hard headed clinging to its limited point of view.  I first noticed it in the tension in my voice. Yet, the momentum of ancient patterns had propelled me into a rather strident declaration of the facts at hand.  Then, to make matters worse, I immediately reacted defensively to her questioning my take.

Thankfully, the Universe -- and my friend -- were kind.  No 15 round knock down, drag out, battle ensued. Within a few moments,  I could see quite clearly that I was mistaken.  I had to give it up. 

Whew.  

At this stage of the journey, I actually was grateful for my "mistake." The Universe had pointed out, once again, that who I am at any moment in time can be nothing more, nor anything less, than a bad habit.  I've learned to appreciate those moments.

As a 5'2", 78 year old white, working class, cis, male (an Aries, no less), who emerged from a significantly chaotic and traumatic childhood, I can be a real jerk.  My supercharged need to be "right" is a deeply conditioned way to drive away the demons of existential angst -- and prove my worth.  Yet, these days I can bow to that reality with a grin more readily. It's easier to move on into the next moment with a bit more Presence.

I blame the Practice for that.

The Real Deal

Over the years, it has become more and more obvious to me that much of human life is dictated by habit.  Although it may not feel like it, who we are is not a fixed, free standing, independently existing, subjective reality.  Our current "point of view" emerges from a cauldron of causes and conditions, many of them beyond our ken -- or control.  We experience life through what Albert Einstein called an "optical illusion" of human consciousness.  We've learned to perceive ourselves as fundamentally separate from everything -- and everybody -- else. 

Spending much of our time lost in thought, adrift in habitual moods, we are driven by a set of deeply ingrained, mostly subconscious (and often contradictory) beliefs about ourselves and the world.  Immersed in these states of mind, we rarely are present to the deepest dimension of our lives.  Yet, all the while, in the vast silence within and beyond each moment, a sacred reality calls to us.  A boundless expanse of support and potentiality, it's presence energizes all that is.

Yet, we rarely hear it calling.  There's too much noise. 

When we aren't distracting ourselves with one of the myriad external amusements readily available, our inner world is usually a cascading current of thoughts and emotional energies. For some, the restlessness embedded in this noisy jumble will even emerge as bodily fidgits.  

To make matters worse, the noise in our heads resonates with the prevailing noise in the collective consciousness of today's world.  It dominates our attention. Oblivious to the subtle energies dancing within the infinite space of each and every moment, we don't experience our fundamental unity with all that is, has been, and ever could be.  We don't experience our connection to the One Love that is the ever-unfolding source, sustaining energy, and destination of all life.  

Thankfully, this fundamental sense of disconnect is nothing more --and nothing less than -- a bad habit.  

Embedded in that habit is the deep disquiet of what some have called existential angst. Most often, a restlessness for relief creates layers of addictive patterns to fill the void. Each is a grasping, an attempt to find happiness in all the wrong places.  Buddha described this as the cause of all human suffering.

So, it's no surprise that we creatures of habit find ourselves in tough straits. Each of us is awash in a culture where capitalism, scientific materialism, and a dysfunctional religious dogma have been woven into most every nook and cranny of human life -- for centuries.  The individual and collective subconscious of generations of human beings have been increasingly conditioned to create and feed this habitual sense of separation.  This pervasive "us vs them"mentality creates our day to day life as the individual struggle it appears to be.

Yet, all the while, in the still and silent space of our Heart of Hearts, the fundamental connection exists.  As we come to rest in the warmth of an open heart and clarity of open awareness, it becomes mysteriously clear.  We are not separate from the One Love.  From there, moment to moment, emerges a way of being that is truly clear, calm, kind, compassionate and wise.  This basic goodness is our True Nature. 
 

But, here's the rub.

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Taking It to Heart: Tonglen Practice

“You take it all in. You let the pain of the world touch your heart 

and you turn it into compassion. It is said that 

in difficult times, it is only bodhichitta that heals.” 

-- The Sixteenth Gyalwa Karmapa quoted by Pema Chodron, 

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times 

 

"So, when we are willing, intentionally, with this kind of attitude, 

this vision, to breathe in the suffering, we are able to transform it 

easily and naturally; it doesn't take a major effort on our part, 

other than allow it."

-- Norman Fischer, Training in Compassion: 

Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong

A grin comes to my face as I remember her voice on the telephone.

"That's backwards isn't it? You meant breathe in the good and send out the bad, right?" she said, not unkindly. Being gracious, she was making a space for me to realize that my aging brain cells had gone dyslexic.

I had been chatting with an old friend for first time in quite awhile, talking about my continued wonder at the Lojong Teachings of Tibetan Buddhism in general, and Tonglen Practice in particular.  

After a moment's pause, to relax and reconnect with the basic openness of mind -- and to make sure that I really hadn't verbally zigged when I had intended to zag -- I continued.

"No, I actually did mean that I shift my attention from the thoughts running through my head to the feelings coursing through my body.  Then I breathe into my heart the difficult and challenging darker emotions that had emerged.  There in my heart of hearts I get in touch with the reality that countless people are feeling this same form of energy.  My heart naturally responds with the heartfelt aspiration that we all be free of such suffering.  Then I send out a sense of relief and healing with each exhalation.  It's in with the "bad." Out with "good.".

She paused for awhile (perhaps, to relax and reconnect with a basic openness herself? LOL)  Then she simply replied, "Oh?" 

She didn't sound convinced.

Hers was not an uncommon response.  Raised in a highly individualistic and materialistic society, the basic premise of this ancient Tibetan Buddhist system of mind training seems counterintuitive.  Instead of always grasping at the "good" and pushing away the "bad," with Tonglen Practice we choose to open our hearts to the entire gamut of human emotions.   Seems a bit crazy, right? It most certainly is. 

Crazy like a fox.

Transforming All Experience into the Path of Awakening

Lojong is an intricate system of training the heart and mind that emerged in Tibetan Buddhism in the 11th and 12 centuries. Grounded in the Mahayana doctrine of Two Truths,  it's goal is to cultivate the wisdom and compassion needed to embrace both the conventional truth of appearances and absolute truth of Reality in our own lives.  All experiences of our lives are seen as an opportunity to Practice.

Lojong's framework of 59 training aphorisms are supported by two meditation practices: basic sitting meditation (Shamatha-Vippasyana) and Tonglen.  I've seen that, over time, these three tools have changed my day to day life dramatically. With Practice, I've been able to navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life with increasing ease, kindness, clarity and compassion.  With time, energy, effort and patience, I've been able to be Present more wholeheartedly, moment by moment, to Life.

To wit:

As I sit here and pay attention, I become aware of a clear, bright, vast, and open sense of spaciousness beyond the tunnel vision of my thoughts.  

As I pause and expand my attention to become aware of my body, my breath, and the sights and sounds of the room that I am sitting in, and to the world outside the window, there a palpable shift in my consciousness.  As I come into the present moment more fully,  I can feel its expansiveness throughout my body. I can relax and rest in its embrace. 

Sitting here, breathing in, breathing out,  I'm aware of the dance of my fingers along the surface of this keyboard.  I see that milliseconds before the fingers move, thoughts emerge instantaneously, seemingly from nowhere in particular.  Although, these thoughts are most certainly prompted by my intention to write this blog post, they appear to be emerging by themselves, quite mysteriously.  

Although Western science claims that these thoughts are epiphenoma, merely brain secretions of some sort, at this moment they appear to be connected to something much grander than that.  My heart feels that connection.  I have come to trust that feeling.  A sense of wonder and joy emerges from the luminous silence that embraces me as I embrace it.   Aware of my feet on the floor, the clicking contact of my fingers on the keyboard, the soft humming of the computer, the wind outside the window, the vast, open spaciousness of a clear and boundless open mind, my heart opens.  I feel the Presence of the Sacred.

But, I digress -- sort of.
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Lighten Up -- Again!

 

"Get your mind unbound and free; and then from the loosest, highest, best place you have, with the fastest and most humorous mind you can get together, you can reach 

out and make a try at understanding Spirit."

---Stephen Gaskin, This Season's People

 

 

Stephen Gaskin (February 16, 1935 - July 1, 2014)

Sometimes the Universe really lays one on you.  The utterly inexplicable walks right up to you and whispers in your ear "There's magic afoot" -- and invites you to dance.  

 

At those times, the One Love that permeates and transcends each moment lets you know that there is much more to Reality than our rational mind can actually deliver.  That processing channel gets too bogged down in distinctions to grasp the bigger picture.

 

Of course, having Sat Still Doing Nothing (and Everything) for a good chunk of time most every morning for decades, I am often, at least momentarily, aware of the Presence of a dimension of being where magic, miracles, and mystery exist.  

 

Nowadays, even off the zafu, this dimension is more noticeable. It is embedded in the fabric of daily life.  A sense of wonder often emerges amidst the ordinary moments of ordinary days.  

 

In fact, when I'm truly Present, washing the dishes and taking out the trash are as much Ritual Connections to the Sacred as lighting incense, bowing, and taking my seat in meditation. When I'm on my game, the world glows. (When I'm not, Migdalia busts me for the glasses I washed that don't sparkle. LOL)  

 

As best I can tell, Life is just as Thich Nhat Hanh wrote years ago:

"Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child—our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” 

 

Yet, for sure, within and beyond the ongoing miracle, there are extra special moments.  There are times that the Grand Synchronicity turns up the volume. This happened ten years ago this month.  The Extraordinary concocted up an experience that still defies any attempt to rationally understand what had happened. 

 

As I sat staring at the blank screen of this very same, now much older MacBook Pro that day, a ringtone on my iPhone may just as well have been Gabriel's trumpet.  At that moment, Stephen Gaskin, who had passed away 11 days before, the worldwide web, and Google conspired to proclaim the existence of a dimension where magic, miracles, and mystery will always have the last laugh!

 

The memory still brings a grin to my face and a glow to my heart.

 

With another deep bow to Stephen -- and to this Most Amazing Universe -- I want to share the post from that day.   It's encouragement to "lighten up" bears repeating.

Lighten Up!   
Originally Posted July 12, 2014

A couple of night's ago, unable to get back to sleep after a nocturnal "nature call,"I had tried to write a memorial piece on Hippie Spiritual Teacher Stephen Gaskin, whose Life -- and recent Death -- touched me deeply.   I got nowhere.  After struggling with it for a while, I gave up and read a bit of a Tenzing Norbu Mystery before finally stretching out to meditate into sleep once again.

Still on the mend from the events of the past month, I've been mostly laying low these days, staying away from the computer and cell phone as much as possible, allowing myself to Heal.  A couple of false starts had showed me quite clearly how energy depleting my addiction to these devices can be.  

 

Scrolling for the next dopamine hit takes its toll.

This morning, I was quaffing my first cup of coffee in a couple of days (another addiction under modification) watching bubbles of confusion and angst float through my awareness.  I wasn't quite sure what to do about this week's commitment to Your MMM Courtesy Wake Up Call.  My attempt to express the profound impact that Stephen had had on my life was going nowhere.  I'd made a few false starts. but the back space key had wiped the slate clean each time.

 

I was first introduced to Stephen when a friend handed me a copy of Monday Night Class, a collection of his talks, questions, and answers delivered to the thousand or so hippies that gathered weekly at the Family Dog to meditate and compare notes on the community spiritual exploration that had emerged and mushroomed in San Francisco in the 1960's.  That book propelled me on a journey that included a daily meditation practice, a couple of extended visits to the Farm, my own attempts at a communal "back to the land" lifestyle -- and a number of conversations with Stephen over the course of a couple of decades. 

Sitting here at a picnic table outside my favorite local farm store on a brilliant, blue-skied morning, I continued to stare at a blank screen.  Then, (probably with a furrowed brow), I reached for my cell phone to check my email -- then, perhaps, just fall back and select an old post to republish this week.

At that very moment the phone "dinged"with an incoming email. Peering down I read the notification

"Your MMM Courtesy Wake Up Call:

 Lighten Up! 

Posted 18 January 2014"

WTF!!!???

I have no idea what strange permutation of the space time cyber continuum at that moment could have possibly have had Google generate and deliver to me an email version of a post I'd written six months ago.  This had never happened before.  (and still hasn't happened again ten years later! -- L.)

How could I not lighten up?  

I broke into a bemused grin as I clicked it open.  The Serendipity of receiving this unsolicited and inexplicably"cosmic" reprint of a blog piece at that moment was magic enough. The decision was made for me.  I'd just read and tinker with it bit, write an introduction describing what had happened and re-pubish it.

 
Then, I began reading the post...

It got even more mind blowing!

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